


Ill-fated

by Livali



Category: Gacha World (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Best bro award goes to the summoner, F/M, Gen, I'm trying okay, Improvement Issues, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It is up to reader interpretation to view it as platonic or romantic, Multi, On Hiatus, Reluctant Rivalry, Unresolved Emotional Tension, dorkeshi is here to save you all, heroing intensifies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-12 11:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10490226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livali/pseuds/Livali
Summary: A new danger looms as a certain summoner’s fate coincides along the bitter clash between two equals. Various things affected by the hero’s destiny, like Gacha World itself are jeopardized to the point of imbalance. With one relationship and an unknown evil being the threat to their universe, the Gacha Summoner and his aide set out to seek the answers and attempt to repair the broken.With different fates, different souls, different paths taken, all will soon converge and create roads contributing to save their world from falling into the despair they have envisioned. But the question is, are the roads heading towards doom or salvation?[story set after canonical game ending / near-future fic / slight canon-divergences present]/featuring a fanfic with tons of ships, a serious but still sleepless Luni, and an idiot summonerMUST READ: THIS STORY IS ON A PERMANENT HIATUS UNTIL THE REWRITTEN VERSIONS ARE DONE.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed there weren't any works for Gacha World here in ao3, so it wouldn't hurt being the first by making one for ao3 (tbh I didn't expect for ao3 to have a GW Fandom tag lmao). This is also an attempt for me to improve my horrifically horrible skills in writing... here are a few reminders:  
> Whatever attire the summoner wears in the tutorial will be his appearance here.  
> I named him Takeshi, because I can't think of names for anyone's sake (heellpp).  
> I don't have a single idea of what I am doing... *sigh* here it goes...
> 
> (AN2: I dunno how this will come out... I didn't know how to handle it since the plot was a spontaneous idea that came out from nowhere xD  
> Anyways, if it it comes out good or nah, then you can input your opinion in the comment box. I might not be able to write consistently but let me see where this will take meh :o)

A young, hooded male, clad in messy, dull armor and clothing lay with his body spread, like a rip-off of the posture of a flying squirrel, in some obscure part of a forest. The tiny gaps of leaf by leaf allowed brightness to fill in the darkness of the said obscurity, but the contrast proved too bright as the man yawned with hints of pain and lethargy. The light perhaps excessively radiant, being the cause of his arousal.

“Ow...” the young man subconsciously grimaced.

It was a lapse of a few seconds that even after he got up, only did he start to regain actual consciousness.

In his vision of absolute dimness, light slowly poured in and extruded in slowly, the darkness before was now an environment of greens, leaves and tall grass. His vision gradually improving as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his right hand, and arranged himself. The man then realized that he was no longer in his apartment scattered with dirty clothes, chip bags and pizza boxes. The horrific smell of unwashed clothing and uneaten food was replaced by the pleasant smell of flowers and the nature-like odor of the trees and grasses.

All he remembered was receiving a strange invitation via text in his cellphone, thinking it harbored no harm, he accepted it. And then seconds later, memories became blurred, recollections became obscure and his mind was pitch black in a river of abstruseness wherein his brain had become opaque and no new thought had sunk in since then.

Right now, aside from organizing his memories, he first needed to find out where he was and the reason why he was there. He was in someplace eerily familiar, but he couldn’t quite figure it out just yet.He now wished that his brain could process such information faster, being in this unknown place already made him a tad frightened.

“ _I know that I’ve seen this place before…”_ He thought to himself.

He looked around. The thick canopy, bright and lush meadows is what was _supposed_ to surround him, well, that was what his memory told him. Now, the woods weren’t all that flourishing with life, some trees were dead, some places around were noticeably scorched and dry. Rivers were nonentity and the air didn’t seem so refreshing as he remembered it. The more he analyzed, the more he remembered. Until suddenly, one certain word just caused his memories to burst in all directions.

_Gacha._

No way.

This was Gacha Woods.

He was in Gacha World.

...again.

The memories of the said place this time was clear, he was battling here months ago. But not exactly, it wasn’t this… desolated. Why did it suddenly seem so different?

“Oh, you finally figured it out, huh?” A mysteriously perky and familiar voice rang from behind. “I’m so relieved you accepted that invite like the last time! I almost thought that you would’ve shoved it aside thinking it was clickbait or something...”

The summoner turned around, only to be surprised by a certain, apparently overjoyed fairy. “Who are you– Ellie?!” He exclaimed, backing a few steps away in a state of delayed panic. But he immediately calmed down after recollecting more and more things about the place he was in. “Don’t tell me…”

“Yup, you’re in Gacha World again.”

His expression consisted of surprise and joy…but mostly surprise. He scratched his head and slowly stood up, making sure no hazards were around that would cause him to trip or fall down. “I never expected that I would be able to come back again...”

“I know right! Even I didn’t expect we would meet up again like this! It’s nice to see you back here.” Ellie said while flinging her arms in excitement. “But, erm, Gacha World today...” Her happy mood suddenly dropped like how some guy’s exam scores would after one night of not reviewing. She continued. “…might be slightly different from how you remember it...”

“What do you mean?”

“You see the place around you right? Gacha Woods? It’s more… uhm, ‘stark’ now… right?” She began twiddling with her fingers. “Well, there’s actually a reason why you’re here again… like last time, Takeshi…”

The said man, Takeshi, blinked and snorted. “As if people will call me here for no reason and just make fun of me.”

“Well yeah, true, that.” The fairy spoke jokingly, her expression suddenly contorting into one of seriousness. “Moving along, you’re here again. And there’s a reason.”

“Let me guess,” Takeshi rubbed his chin. “Corruption again?” A very short silence of pondering ensued. Then after ridiculing at his assumption, Ellie made an ‘ennggkkk’ sound. “Wrong, totally wrong. That corruption guy is totally out of our bushes, the reason now is entirely different.”

“Wait, I’m not done yet!” He gestured. “Did Luni create another world of exploding food and decided to combine the said food with puppies and kittens?!”

Normally, Ellie would laugh at his idea but since the situation in her world called in utmost urgency of a hero, a savior, she was unaffected. She sighed. “Um… no.”

Takeshi was an evidently oblivious man, instead of taking note of her serious expression, he continued blurting out foolish things and stupidities from his mouth. “Did a zombie apocalypse finally occur here and everyone except you is out for brains?!”

“Nope.”

“Another evil has dawned upon this world again?!”

Ellie raised one brow at this. “Isn’t that supposed to be the first guess?”

“Well, Luni seems like the more dangerous option than a rising evil or a zombie apocalypse.”

The fairy appeared to have thought about it, but she eventually (sort of) agreed with him, reluctantly. “You got a point there… Wait– I didn’t come here to wait for you to guess your purpose here!”

“Okay, okay. Tell me, no more guessing.”

“Alright.” She began, mentally preparing herself. “You see, how should I put this…” She seemed to be choosing her words carefully. “Well, I’ll tell it to you in a short story. Let’s just say two people had a massive misunderstanding, then it lead to an argument. Then that argument shattered their fellowship with one another. They had two options, choosing if they should find the time to listen, or if they should think of each other as deceiving heretics and begin a dangerous rivalry.”

The summoner just stared at her in awe… awe-ful fear. “So… I would be glad if they chose the former, but I’m guessing that they chose the latter….”

She appeared to have agreed with him. motioning her hands according to how the story is told. “Yep, they chose the latter. So now, every time they would cross paths, it would end up destroying one world or another. It’s having a bad effect on our dimension, and we decided to call you to see if you can help us out.”

The man tilted his head sideways. “Can’t Luni do something about it?”

“Well, she can erase them if she wants to, but you know how Luni is, despite her slightly dangerous tendencies, she’s a nice person at heart. She could never erase them even if she wanted to. They are humans too, you know.”

“So you’re saying that, Luni can’t do anything about it?”

“Well, yeah, that’s basically it. But I’m not sure if she’ll eventually do the greater good, or come to you for assistance, I mean, she isn’t that predictable and I’m not as close to her as Lilith is, so I can’t guarantee anything.”

“Oh I see.” The summoner nodded in understanding. But the question begging to be asked at the back of his mind decided to forcefully lay itself out there, curiosity toggled. “By the way, who are those two people we’re talking about here? Is it corruption-like entities or is it some powerful new gachas or something?”

Ellie bit her lip in anxiety. “...actually, they are closer to you than you think...”

The summoner subconsciously prepared himself. His thoughts assuming the fairy’s next words to be of his horror and really, really dire. “...who are they?”

An uncomfortable peace circulated between the two individuals, only breaths, the subtle sounds of crickets and the occasional weak gusts of winds could be heard, until Ellie had mentally concluded to herself to blurt it out.

A deep breath was taken, and right after, eyes widened.

“It’s… Reed and Claire.”

 

 


	2. Uneventful Interludes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was somewhat disturbing, but atypically pleasant. He always said her whole name, and not by her given abbreviation.  
> There was just something about that fact that she takes solace in, and she didn't know why. But one fact is, she thinks herself as strange for liking it in the first place.  
> “You, need to yield to your duties, and give yourself a rest.” His deep voice sounded.  
> “...I will sometime later.” She muttered quietly, hoping this conversation could be over faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, chapter two, here it goes... Also, things might seem to be not connecting for you as you read, but trust me, they will in later chapters. I'm not good at doing this. Don't kill me off or anything.

“ _This is perhaps, the most dire situation we’ve been in since Corruption.” A perky, aqua-colored hoodie-wearing girl voiced, the statement directed at a worried succubus, whose expression was as grave as hers was._

“ _I’m worried about the others Luni… will the gachas be fine?”_

_Luni, said person clad in a turquoise hoodie and a short of a darker shade, tried to give the albino with her best smile, but at most, she failed to do so. “I cannot guarantee anything, Lilith, sadly. I haven’t encountered this kind of ‘error’ before.”_

“ _What kind of error could they be?”_

“ _Well, it’s not that they’re the error. I am. I failed to watch through every gacha’s actions, thinking everything would be serene once again after Takeshi vanquished the Corruption, and fixed Ellie, the RNG itself.”_

_Lilith felt the heavy responsibility as the creator’s prime follower weighing itself heavier on her shoulders, feeling suddenly inclined to cheer the bluenette. “D-don’t say that Luni, it isn’t so easy watching through everyone you know!”_

_The creator gave Lilith her most genuine smile. “I know that Lilith. But, it is still my duty after all.”_

“ _You can still ask for help, like-”_

“ _I know, that’s why I sent an invitation to Takeshi’s world so that he can transport here again. I also sent Ellie to Gacha Woods to wait for him there, since she is a good friend after all. She also pretty much knows what is happening. So I think she can clear Takeshi’s curiosity by the time he goes here._

“ _B-but you still seem so unsure Luni, why?”_

“ _I still have my doubts. Everyone does.” Luni said coolly, trying to shake off the anxiety that was slowly creeping into her mind. “I have doubts if the summoner still wants to come here. Although that doubt might be short-lived, I still have other doubts as well. The relationship between_ these two _is quite complicated… I don’t know what to do about all of this...”_

_The succubus twiddled her fingers. “T-this might be rude but… can’t you just erase them…? I-it’s for the greater good isn’t it…?”_

“ _I would have done that long ago if my heart didn’t remain human, Lilith, I could never destroy something I created. All gachas have relationships with one another, with the RNG, and with the Gacha Sword. And these two, are not an exception. It would upset the balance more if I destroyed them, too. So fixing the problem within the problem itself is the most viable now. Avoiding the cynical option which is eliminating the problems, literally, is for the best.”_

“ _I-I see… Is the summoner good friends with the two?”_

_Luni remarked calmly. “I have no reason to believe that the summoner isn’t good friends with each and every gacha unit. He knows each and every one of them as friends, Reed and Claire are no exception to that either.”_

“ _Oh… do you think he may be able to fix their problem?”_

“ _I hope so Lilith.”_

_The silence was deafening, another empty world right before her had collapsed. The distortion of space enshrouding that said world, leaving not even a speck of that world’s matter nor a trace that the said world even existed. It went to oblivion as she spoke._

“ _I hope so.”_

* * *

“Any news on Ellie and the creator yet?”

“Sorry Blaire, we haven’t heard anything from the creator and her subordinates in the last two days. But I believe we might hear from them sooner or later.” Scarlet Flare stated sternly, straightening her posture and keeping her sword straight. “I know, it’s rather worrying. If the creator wants to keep this alliance with the entirety of this dimension, she better update us on what is happening.”

“I know, that’s what worries me. Even Nova Blade can’t seem to contact her, I wonder what the creators and her allies are up to now.”

Although it might not be desirable for all leaders as for now, Creator Luni had stretched out a hand to every known world she had created. Forming one heck of a dimensional alliance, so that they would know everything that was happening. Thus, agreeing to the terms, taking in account that along with other worlds, with theirs also in jeopardy, all five neon factions agreed to forming some sort of temporary alliance for the sake of it.

But, opinion-wise for Blaire, this alliance was not all that bad. They all got along quite well, but occasionally, she and Hermit Turtle, who was actually the Green Faction's representative (that surprised her, really), didn't seem to agree with each other as much as the other leaders do in general. So in neutral-demanding arguments, because of her bias for justice, she seemed to 'unconsciously' despise him through her proposals, much to Turtle's chagrin. Thus, banning them both from any neutrality-based debates in the leader's assembly hall for now on.

What was worrying right now though, was that they haven't contacted Creator Luni for the last forty-eight hours. Her last messages were something about calling an old pal, or deleting something. But the details were quite hard to grasp, Nova Blade didn't explain so clearly.

"I doubt this alliance would stand any longer if she doesn't do anything about us." Flare muttered to herself, but loud enough for Blaire to hear. She looked at the Red Faction leader's direction, causing the redheaded female to avert her gaze, all the while maintaining her ever-constant deadpan.

"Well..." The breaker began. "It's not that she might be ignoring us, perhaps she has duties to attend to. Being the creator is quite a hassle..."

"She should take in the circumstances of arranging an alliance, _especially_ with a dimensional string of worlds, before she consults us."

The bluenette couldn't find any comebacks for herself. Flare has always been so strict and rigid. "You got a point..."  

“Man, this conversation is so stiff, you guys need to chill and get a drink or something. It’s best if you guys just relax and wait patiently.” Another female voice chimed in, in contrast to Blaire’s mature and to Flare’s deep tone, this one was considerably light, and buoyant. “Are you guys really the respective leaders of your factions?”

The two girls looked at her with a tired, and bored-looking expression. Angelic Violet snorted. “Just kidding, I was just messing with you both. I know how worrying it is not hearing from the creator for a while, but seriously, you both need to soften up. It’s not like the world’s gonna end just because she ignored us or something.”

Flare just sighed while Blaire smiled awkwardly.

“Uh...” A placid voice of a man joined in on the conversation. The green-haired male raised one of his arms and looked at Violet with a seemingly weary look, “Ours might be ending eventually though...”

Violet looked at him with an expression mixed of vague annoyance, but dominated by something he can't quite point at. Was it realization, or just plain weirdness? The purple-haired girl put one of her fingers on her jaw.

“Oh... right...” Violet inwardly gobsmacked herself. “I take that back, we will have to hear from them. We _need_ to know what’s going on with all these other worlds suddenly distorting into nothingness crap happening around us.”

“Yeah, it worries me that we ourselves, along with other worlds are in danger of vanishing into… oblivion.” The blue faction leader pulled face. The mere thought of their world suddenly disappearing, along with them in it, slowly ate her at her very soul.

The notion itself was horrendous and numbing, but at times like these, her typical, justice-loving front should be doing her service. She would have done that, but it would just seem out of place, and it appeared like a facade, hiding one’s real emotions can be quite the ordeal after all. “But luckily, so far, the worlds that have vanished seem to be uninhabited.”

Luckily.

But the enforcer always wondered, which world would be targeted next? 

She usually would try to push the negativity invading most of her mind ever since she detected a gist of their current situation, but right now, she couldn't think of anything else. It was hard thinking of something else.

Hermit Turtle place his chin on his palm. “Yeah, the creator did create _a lot_ of worlds for some reason...”

"Yeah. Good for us though..." Violet murmured. While Flare was quietly taking a sort of a light nap on the seat she is usually positioned in during meetings. Her head sometimes bobbing up and down, but not causing her to stir into her wake.

Out of the blue, a loud smack of wood reverberated throughout the assembly room, the sound appeared to generate from the large door which was now opened by a tired, sloppy and stressed Nova Blade. The reverberation caused them to stop still, waking up a certain redheaded faction leader, who appeared to be half-asleep whilst looking at the masked man. “I-I...”

“Whoa there Blade,” A startled Turtle remarked, shaking his head while the rest of the females where in a state of static shock. “you need to calm the heck down.”

Scarlet Flare sighed, snapping out of her dazed stupor. “You need to stop tiring yourself, as the leader of the strongest faction, you have to stay at top shape.”

“I… I...” He blurted out in between heavy exhalations.

“You better eat and get a drink, you don’t look so good.” Violet added. “You even got the ‘frozen-hearted’ Flare, who's pretty much an open-eyed sleeper to voice her concerns!”

“What.” Flare commented lamely, her voice drowned out by Blaire’s concerned statement. The blue faction leader threw the albino-haired male a bottle of water. “Man, what’s stressing you out like that?”

“I...” Blade managed to regain his calm and composed demeanor. He cleared his throat and stood in an unbent stance. “I have made contact with the creator and the others just a few minutes ago.”

“WHAT?!” The other leaders, excluding Flare who silently yawned in the background, shouted in unison.

“So, what is it?!” Turtle’s unfitting voice was the first to surface among the barrage of questions the other leaders, except Flare, again, who was walking towards the band of curious leading bodies rather nervelessly, launched him with. The question harangue was soon followed by the piercing sound of a particular breaker's mellow voice. “What did she say?”

“She said… ‘help is on the way. Probably will arrive there by tomorrow, prepare yourselves. Make sure to help him when he needs it. He’s an old friend of all of you’.”

A pondering peace ensued shortly, but Violet soon cracked it while slowly nodding to herself, with a question. “An old friend huh?”

Turtle nodded in unison with Violet. “Hmm… now that has captured my interest...”

Flare looked at them almost expressionlessly, but the seriousness in her voice showed that her lack of emotion proved to be just a myth. “...hopefully the old friend would be of some help.” She mumbled, her cold eyes betraying her set of clothing and armor who literally screamed 'passionate!' with all they've got.

“Jeez, you don’t need to be so stern and starchy, Flare, I mean, if Creator Luni sent this friend then he must be really powerful and helpful!”

She replied flatly. “I guess.”

Despite her close to emotionless expression off-battle, she cares for her faction, and the other leaders, very deeply. Feeling this may as well be the only place she feels she belongs to, the necessity to defend and protect this place of belonging was always at its peak. During battles, she would drop her passionless gaze and attack as fierce as the firepower she possesses. Not that she thought anyone would take consideration anyway, she was often characterized as 'whose eyes betray her looks' anyway.

Not that she cared for what they thought of her or anything.

Just a tiny, tiny bit.

“Whew!" Turtle said while flinging his arms, putting his hands onto the back of his head as he turned. "Now that I know there is someone who can explain to us all about this randomness happening, I’m gonna take one heck of a long nap!” The greenette yawned, leaving the assemblage hall for his faction quarters.

Violet decided to follow suit and head for her quarters as well. “Right on, slowpoke!”

“Well, waiting for two days on the edge of our seats hoping our world doesn’t get eradicated, we’ve earned a well deserved rest somehow.” Blaire sighed and left as well, looking behind at the two companions she left for a final time for that day. “You two should get some rest too. We all had our share of unease.”

“We will.” Blade replied calmly, nodding as superficial assurance. The Yellow Faction leader, then looked at the armor-adorned comrade a few meters away from him. Although it couldn’t be distinguished from his facial features, which are obviously shrouded by protective covering, his gaze immediately turned into concern.

Oh no.

It's coming.

Flare was always displeased with the situation of being left alone with Nova Blade. It would always begin with some suddenly transpiring silence, in which suddenly, he would break it and ask a question. He was always concerned by everyone's affairs, but she didn't particularly liked talking about herself. But she didn't really like it when she pushed someone aside, it always left this unjustified feeling in her throat that can only be resolved by actually confronting what was causing it.

And in this case, it was him. Perhaps.

Tranquility begun to circle the air around them, it wasn’t nervous. It wasn’t awkward. It was very familiar to Flare, and she always disliked that gut feeling every time this eerie tranquility decided to hover. It always had something to do with Nova Blade’s bluntness. It wasn’t a rude sort of honesty, it was just something one _cannot_ blame despite how rude, how outright, how roundabout it may be asked.

It was what made him hard to deal with. Terrifying, even.

She couldn't even predict when he was going to talk,  _the damn mask in the way_. When she couldn't predict, she could never figure any method on conversing, thus, leaving her well... 'awkward'. So at most, she tried her best avoiding offhanded conversations with others with all her efforts.

“Scarlet Flare.”

It was somewhat disturbing, but atypically pleasant. He always said her whole name, and not by her given abbreviation.

There was just something about that fact that she takes solace in, and she didn't know why. But one fact is, she thinks herself as strange for liking it in the first place.

“You, need to yield to your duties, and give yourself a rest.” His deep voice sounded.

“...I will sometime later.” She muttered quietly, hoping this conversation could be over faster.

“We know things can always be done later, but for now, it’s best if you carry yourself first as your top priority.”

Although her expression displayed the slightest hints of resistance, she sighed, acquiescing reluctantly. Rebelling against authority to state your qualms was always one of her principles, but for now, despite the subtleties telling her to say it, she decided to drop the issue and just obey altogether. “...alright.”

It appears that he wasn’t done with her yet.

Well, crap.

“What is it that problems you? I might be some sort of help.”

_Tsk, what a subtle way of pointing out your curiosity._

Damn, she always hated it when he always saw her through. For Luni's sake, she could just run away and avoid this conversation all in all. But that unjustified feeling would just creep in, and it would incessantly bother her for nights and nights until she resolved it or forget it anyways.

It was hard trying to be... herself.

She tried to cut herself off from everything else, but somehow,  _he_ always manages to insert himself into the equation.

As if in this now ever-transient world, she was not opaque but translucent. He can see through everything, those glowing eyes behind that metal mask glowing brightly, piercing through and staring down at her very soul. It wasn’t like that she was an open book, but more of a diary, in which, he had cracked the password without any issue whatsoever.

But Blade on the other hand, he was open. His concerns were obvious, but he was just so… hard to read, the motives behind those concerns are shady. It wasn't really the right word, but she couldn't quite describe it whenever she tried to characterize him in her thoughts. The peculiar, outlandish serenity that his posture, _those eyes_ possess _something_ , and that was what made him formidable.

Her first impression of him indeed, was thrown out of the window long ago.

A true hero, huh.

More like, a true  _rough-and-tumble_.

Her quiet retort hovered throughout the open air, until it slowly faded. “...I can never tell.”

Blade expressed his mirth inwardly, she was always so reclusive.

Not that he laughed at it because it was funny, it was just something he didn't expect from the Red's Faction leader,  _of all people_. And there was that confusion  _and_ calmness those eyes of her have. It was dubious.

Scribbling lines of turmoil seem to cloud those irises, along with this bizarre repose that resided within those lines. Was she trying to fan the flames of her inside? He didn't know, but all he presumed was, there was some sort of inner conflict happening in her, she just tries to kill it in order for her to perform her duties.

But he knows, that she fails to do so.

She was different.

He’d talked with the other leaders casually too. They were rather easy-going, but willing. Hermit Turtle was quite the comical and friendly person, but it appeared that despite his upbeat persona, he was selective of people to talk to, and preferred talking with small groups.

Angelic Violet is serious about her leading position and she loved her faction, but she seems to freely choose when she should relax, or when she should go full force.

Blaire on the other hand, had that strong sense of justice, but not blinded by pure righteousness and arrogance. She, like Hermit Turtle, preferred not talking in large groups and she liked the company of even just one acquaintance… if that said acquaintance isn’t an outlaw like Hermit Turtle… or anyone from the green faction for that matter.

Unlike the others, the pure, unstable quiet _she_ emits is rather, perplexing.

She always appeared to be troubled by something.  

He always found it nice in her company, even if they haven’t known each other for that long. But obviously, she didn’t reciprocate the pleasantries that he felt around her, he pretty much knew that she was uncomfortable around him.

Being a true hero, you need to tackle the obstacles that you face, no matter how difficult it is.

But the irony of this person, is just overwhelming.

It was time he backed off. This time, the growing disorder in her gaze was venomous. Desperate. It was pushing him away, it was like she was in a do-or-die situation but her body disobeyed her thoughts in every possible way.

Should he keep on asking or should he...

“Alright, I won’t disturb any longer.” He said understandingly. “But take my words,”

He put on a genuinely worried smile. Even if she can’t see it. “Rest while you can.”

He didn't feel at ease leaving her in that state, but assuming it was her, she might not take it all in, scuffling away this conversation, this short-term eye-reading contest ever happened. But his body turned, his foot stepped forward, and yet even if his body was heading for the place of slumber, his mind was wide awake and curious in her presence.

With all his might, he tried not to turn his head.

_Do not._

On that note, he left for his quarters just as the others did for what felt like an eternity ago. She looked at the his slowly minimizing figure turned away from her, shrinking into a shadow until there is nothing left to see down the halls.

She was alone once again.

Flare sighed.

This might be one of those times, that maybe she was willing to obey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon that Blade is psychologically perceptive but can't handle emotions well. Flare is asocial or maybe just socially awkward, she is in fact aware of her own emotions, but is oblivious to the sentiments of others.  
> There is probably some slight canon divergence where more or less, Lovely Lunith doesn't exist.  
> This could explain why Luni and Lilith are separate entities here.


	3. Unsung Territories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I knew it.  
> She raised her arms, but admittedly, she really wanted to make excuses to avoid this sort of conversation at all costs. But judging the way things were going, there was no turning back. “No, no. The league matches just ended a while ago, I don’t have anything to do right now...”  
> Damn, she just dug her own grave six feet under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for me, managing to release chapter three in just a day (lowkey procrastinates on how to execute the next chapter), anywaysss, here it is!

“So, where are we going?”

Ellie replied lamely. “To the Neon World, Luni told us to go there by tomorrow.”

The summoner blinked. “Wait, tomorrow? Then what are we going to do today?”

“Well, we’re going to go to the people who caused all this.” The fairy remarked. “And to talk them, you know, about them. We’re gonna start workin’ on the problem right now.”

“Wait, what?!” Takeshi didn’t particularly rush things, it happens too fast for him.

“What?” She said coolly, unfazed by his predictable surprise. “It’s best if we start working on it now, you know. We’re not gonna get anything done and saved if we stood idly waiting for tomorrow to happen. Besides, it’s the _entire_ Gacha World at stake here.”

Takeshi crossed his arms repeatedly with a panicky look. “No, no. It’s not that. I’m just bothered by something else, I already know that...”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s just that. You said it so offhandedly… we’re just gonna visit them… _like that?_ ”

“Yeah, I know, weird.”

“Mind clearing me up?”

The fairy understood his confusion. Admittedly, even she was confused by the situation itself when Luni first told her about it. “Well despite their hate for each other right now, they’re still doing their respective jobs. Opening up phantom bosses for other heroes in this world, moderating arena battles, it’s like their lifeline or something. Even if they pretty much know the tendencies wherein they might bump into each other.”

He was still perplexed by the relation of their sudden loathing for one another, and what it has to do with the danger of Gacha World - no - the entire Gachaverse... collapsing. “I’m still confused."

Ellie smiled a tad, sighing. It’s been a while since she had to deal with him. Her long-lasting impression on his quiet front was shattered when she pretended to be ‘dead’ when he had defeated her as the RNG. She _had_ to admit, it was funny seeing him suddenly talking like that, but it’s also pleasant seeing another side of Gacha World’s said ‘hero’. Even Lilith was utterly terrified when she heard him talking, gushing about the same mundane topic for an entire week with her master, Luni.

“Of course you are, it’s rather bizarre, right?”

The man let loose a breath, and put his hands on his hips. “Yeah… what does their implied hate for each other have to do with Gacha World?”

“You see, it’s more of the ‘upsetting the balance’ kind of thing.” She began. “Luni has designed everything to go with the natural flow of things. Gachas themselves have their own will, their own freedom and thought, ideologies and beliefs. But when Corruption, well, sort of me, left this world. It distorted a few things, that caused Reed and Claire to be some sort of materialization of error and impairment.”

“Wait,” Takeshi rubbed his chin. “so technically, _you_ are indirectly the cause?”

Ellie snorted. “Heck no, if it were me I wouldn’t even be here right now.”

“Oh. Right.” He smacked himself inwardly. “Then what is this corruption you are saying?”

“Well, do not think of Corruption as that final enemy we faced off before you faced me. Nor is it even a manifestation of something like us. It’s basically just, Corruption. A wrong, fault, error, _something_.”

“So basically it’s like… a deviation from what it purely right or correct then?”

“Yes, exactly. Corruption isn’t human. It’s basically just… _that_. Like a principle. Prime, and basic.”

The summoner nodded. “I get you, I get you.”

“But,” He cut in. “what does that have to do with Reed and Claire?”

The girl just continued. “Well, I don’t quite understand why they were the ones who were selected to be a materialization of ‘Corruption’, Luni hasn’t told me everything that I should know about the context of everything. All I know is that it has something to do with the underlying issues of the selected person themselves.”

“Oh… so is that why we’re going to them?” Takeshi was glad the pieces were coming together, but hopefully, he can get down to resolving the problem right away. Things don’t seem to be as game-like easy as it was back then. “Wait, who’re we talking to first?”

“I don’t know, you’re friends with them. You think of something. But in my opinion, presuming that Reed is just _that_ tsundere, Claire’s a better option to go to first.”

“Hmm… Reed isn’t an easy nut to crack… but Claire’s relatively secluded… but Reed doesn’t particularly like talking about himself anyway...” He continued to mutter various traits about them until he had closed his fist and lightly bashed it on his open palm. “Yep, you’re right. Claire’s better, we won’t get Reed to talk about it unless we develop some sort of psychological strategy to get him to talk.”

“See? I'm pretty good! And by the way, from now on, we will refer to Reed as 'tsundere', got it?”

"Okay..." He snorted lightly. "Right. Let's go to the arena then."

He began to walk until suddenly, a flash of light suddenly appeared on his fingers. "What is this-"

"Tada!" Ellie exclaimed while opening her arms and shaking her fingers. "Thy Mighty Gacha Sword!"

"So dramatic..." Takeshi snickered. 

“Well, you’ll need it. No need to thank me!” She gestured happily, rubbing her nose with one of her lithe fingers. “Now come on! Let’s go! You still _do_ remember how to use it? Right?”

He grinned. “Duh, I wouldn’t be standing here so proudly if I don’t remember a single thing about this place! Let alone talk to you.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get on with it already.”

“Alrighty-o! Let’s go!”

* * *

"Again, it’s unjust to use your teammate as a _human shield_ , it’s technically an infraction of the rules of team battles.” A stern, mellow female voice sounded through the arena halls. The other heroes who happened to be participants in the arena, staring at the fiery conversation happening before them. “I do not want to anger you, but let me just say you have no sense of equity whatsoever.”

“Oh come on! I won and I did! Now where’s my reward?!” A man clad in bronze armor demanded. His injured ‘teammate’ restraining him with both of his arms. He commented with his timid voice. “Oh come on man, just calm down… You can just get rewards from somewhere else...”

“Oh no! I’m getting it _this time_ and no exceptions!” He nagged. “Oi missy! Just ease up already!”

“I’m sorry, by all means, the opposing team gets the rewards for battling fairly.”

The man just growled and stormed off angrily, grumbling angrily to himself whilst taking grumpy stomps towards the exit of the arena. “Fine. I hate this stupid place!”

His teammate scratched his head and bowed at the stern female before him. “I-I’m sorry Miss Claire, he’s got a whole load of anger issues...”

She felt vaguely shamefaced seeing the man bow like that for something he had no fault in. Claire voiced her concerns with confidence. “You have no need to apologize, you should get medication at the aid quarters at the right hall.”

The injured man looked really happy. She took an internal sigh of relief, it always felt so good seeing another person smile. “T-thank you!” He bowed again and ran off towards the aid quarters.

“Man, what a load of pain to the butt that guy was.” Another quirky, slightly autumnal voice dropped in right beside her. “You sure you’re doing alright? You're starting to look less 'Claire-like' and more dead-ish for the past few days.”

“...I’m doing well, thanks for your concern. Melody.”

Witch Melody sighed. Her worries for her armor-adorned friend ever-constant. “No, you aren’t. As serious you are in managing this place, the things that your eyes convey are as clear as daylight." She talked.

Melody put a hand upon Claire's armor-clad shoulder, the qualms in her voice conveyed in what she was about to say next. "Sleep-deprived, stress-ridden, and world-weary.”

Honestly, the witch just described her entire life so far.

“I’ll try taking care of myself better...”

“...whatever you say.” Melody said, putting her hands behind her head, turning her back on her friend, hinting that she is ready to leave. “Just… don’t wander off. You know what will happen if you do.”

“I know...” The manager trailed off, gazing at Melody’s ever-shrinking shadow until no trace of her could be sighted. “...it’s just unavoidable, even if you say that.” She muttered to herself.

“What is?” A male voice suddenly popped in from behind her. Claire took a swift step back out of reflex, mild shock on her features. “Oh whoops, sorry if I surprised you...” He resounded.

“...” Claire’s mouth was gradually agape, staring at the figure in front of her. It took a few seconds to find out who the male figure was, and when she did, she could hardly believe it. “No way. Takeshi?”

“Oh-hoh! You still know me! Cool, right?”

“Of course I do, you reigned champion in the diamond league for two seasons in a row...”

He puffed his chest up in confidence. “That’s me!”

“Yeah.” Ellie smirked. “The diamond league of the defeated.”

Well, that was uncalled for.

“Hey! That isn’t funny!”

Claire snickered along with the fairy, deciding to contribute to whatever sort of mini-rally to make fun of the summoner this was. “Well, the ‘diamond league of defeat: Champion’ title is quite an iconic label for you.”

“Stop reminding meeeee! The horrifying memories of losing to a saltshaker five times in a row is coming back to me!”

There was a short silence, until all three laughed in unison, with Takeshi’s laugh dying midway and replaced later by an ashamed expression. “Wait a minute, we didn’t come here just to spite me Ellie!”

The fairy wiped a tear out of laughing too much. “I know… I know… Just let me finish.”

“Right…” The man rolled his eyes. A minute later, both girls have stopped giggling, with Claire clearing her throat.

The grandmaster then began speaking. “So, what brings you here in Gacha World again?”

Honestly, she didn't feel the need nor the curiosity of asking that question herself, that ask feeling so hollow even to her own ears. Despite asking that question, there was a feeling inside her that pretty much knew the reason why they were there. _Especially_ with Takeshi in tow.

The summoner and the fairy nodded to each other and looked at her.

There it was.

“Claire… we need to talk about something.” Takeshi stated, his expression suddenly serious. “That is, if you’re not busy and everything.”

_I knew it._

She raised her arms, but admittedly, she really wanted to make excuses to avoid this sort of conversation at all costs. But judging the way things were going, there was no turning back. “No, no. The league matches just ended a while ago, I don’t have anything to do right now...”

Damn, she just dug her own grave six feet under.

“Oh, that’s good.” He continued. She knew it was there, it just... it was waiting to burst. She felt like puking, the uncomfortable tension rising in her stomach began depriving her of any thought to avoid this conversation. As he opened his lips once again, she felt like an integral part of the sky began falling onto her, with _no way_ of stopping it at all. “We might want to sit down… it’s something pretty serious.”

Of course.

...of course.

She saw it coming. _Of course_ it was something serious, it was about _them_. Gacha World was in danger after all, she found it strange that she wasn’t even despised by the heroes of the place when she was partly the reason why literally, _everyone’s_ lives are at stake.

Then again, it appears only the other gachas knew what was up. The heroes, nor the normal humans have no idea what was even going on.

It was hard trying not to bring this topic up.

She always tried to assure herself to stop thinking, talking, or even just uttering any related thing about _him._ But here they are, the predictability of this conversation at its finest, she was letting them take their way of their momentous exchange.

That was it.

They were going over the line, she had to stop them somehow.

Her expression, all of a sudden, darkened and contorted into one vaguely hinting at animosity. “If you’re asking about the issue between me and Reed, I have nothing to say to the both of you.”

She didn't see the next thing coming at all.

“Why not?” Takeshi immediately inquired, apparently not taken aback by the sudden turn of moods.

Man, he was straightforward as heck.

“Look, I’m okay with lighthearted conversations and brief reunions, but if you cross the point of no return, I _will_ keep my distance.” She said, her voice suddenly grave, averting the summoner’s keen, inquiring gaze. “I keep things relatively private, _especially_ if you ask about me and _him_.”

It's not like she wanted for herself to sound like that, she just felt the  _need_ to defend this topic somehow. It's not like she was ready, in fact, she knew herself that she needed people whom she can talk to about her problems, without them judging her based on them. There was Melody, but she wasn't comfortable telling it to her. It didn't feel right.

Ugh, everything had to be on her. And it had to be difficult.

She already had her share of problems in the past.

“Look. Claire. It’s the entirety of your universe at stake here, you have to-”

Suddenly, in the fraction of that moment, the bounds of the horizons of her composure cracked and exploded. The dam of psychological resistance letting in a sea of shadowed doubts, bad blood and everything she thought she had hidden away, but was just smitten in that ocean of doubt. Her voice cracked and the whispers in her head became louder, the line between herself and another world fading away. 

“There is _no way in Corruption_ I will say anything to you.” She hissed in a diminutive manner. Recognizing her temper went way above her limit, she swallowed hard and looked at them regretfully. The arena manger took in a deep breath and opened her balled fists, in which, her fingernails were printed upon her palms from the pressure of being excessively clamped. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I just...”

An uncomfortable placidity soon followed, with the fairy beside Takeshi shifting uncomfortably in her place floating beside the summoner's shoulder. He scratched the back of his neck lightly.

“I was kind of insistent… I should be saying sorry...” Takeshi looked at her apologetically. Ellie nodded, trying to keep quiet within the lapse of the situation.

“No. I didn’t think things through this time.” She shook her head in disagreement. “You didn’t have any faults here… It’s really just me.”

Yeah, just her.

It was her.

“I...” The male’s voice trailed off.

Claire sighed, her expression and body language obviously ill at ease. “I just can’t think properly whenever I try talking about him. It just makes me feel… _blinded. Irrational._ ”

_Of him, my reasoning becomes incoherent. Everything in the span of my thoughts and beliefs becomes foreign gibberish as if they were another language, the path that I walked over prior was straight, now it was constantly bending in whatever direction it chose to bend towards to, and my world began falling and crippling into the dark oblivion._

“Do you...” Ellie joined in. “...mind if you made things clear for us?”

Claire appeared to have dived into moments of thought, sighing and straightening her metallic visor upon her hair. “I suppose it won’t hurt telling a bit to you two...”

She didn't mind at all, she needed them.

“Really? Gee, thanks- ow!” Takeshi mildly shouted in joy, while Ellie pinched his ears for being too loud. “You- ow! Won’t regret this- ow! Hey, Ellie!”

“You were kinda loud, I don’t know.” The fairy joked.

“Just stop it!”

“Ha… Right...” The brunette said nervously, rubbing her arm.

It took a few more moments of thanking, halfhearted shouts of pain and a few more ear-pinching before they decided to give their attention to the arena manager before them. “Oh right.” Ellie murmured.

“Well?” The hooded man asked innocently.

Claire took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Few seconds later, she opened it and began.

She couldn't understand why she was doing this.

But Claire was thankful, because they were there.

“Well… it all started when I was...”

* * *

“Okay...” The summoner walked clumsily. Looking back at the domain of fighting wherein he chatted with Claire a few moments ago. “That was...”

_Bad. Ill-chosen. Intense. Welp, could be all of them._

“...awkward?” Ellie completed it for him.

_Yeah, that’s the word._

“They have it rough huh...” Takeshi grumbled nervously. “If I were them, I would have ran away from those kind of problems long ago...”

“You can say that again...” She grimaced.

They (or just the summoner, while Ellie was… floating) walked aimlessly, specifically chatting various details about the tales and conversation they had with the grandmaster instances ago.

Takeshi could honestly admire both of them for as long as he lived, the existence of such perseverance and mental endurance was frightening, but admirable. He wondered, could he even live with their set of problems?

Out of the blue, a voice boomed (sort of) from behind them.

“It’s been a while, summoner.”

Takeshi jumped at the sudden presence of another voice, eerily familiar, low and tame. Ellie stood stiff, floating in the air in shock. He slowly turned his head to see who the source of the voice was. Eventually regretting to even have turned his head in the first place.

“...Reed.” The hooded man greeted, but rather uneasily. “I-it’s you...”

“I wasn’t expecting to see you any time sooner,” The assassin remarked flatly. “but I guess, fate can be quite the con and not exist at all.”

“Heh… yeah...” Takeshi scraped his hair rather awkwardly, while Ellie just looked at them back and forth, the words in her tongue probably stuck and unable to be said. “Same goes for you… Never expected to see you this soon...”

“Judging by the direction you came from, you both recently just came out from the arena, I presume?” He talked with an incessant deadpan expression. “And judging from both of your conversations seconds ago, you happened to have conversed with Claire, I suppose.”

“E-ehrm...” Ellie smiled awkwardly. “Y-yeah we did.”

“Wait a second, you were following us?!” The hero asked, dumbfounded. Reed replied flatly, looking at them without passion. “Just when you came out of the arena, I sort of did.”

“Oh.” Takeshi and Ellie said in unison.

“And I assume you came there to inquire her about the issue between her and I, no?”

“W-well, yeah that’s basically it...” The fairy commented.

“…I see.” He said in a lower, softer voice. “I guess she must have told you both everything by now.” The redhead then brought out a sort of black circle with a yellowish circle symbol on it. “I’ll get going. It was a pleasant reunion, but I have other things to do.”

He wasn't supposed to talk to them yet.

Even if he wanted to literally shout out all his problems at them, it wasn't the right moment yet.

It wasn't.

He then dropped the black object on the floor, smoke came out seconds later, in large numbers. It was a smoke bomb. “W-wait-” Takeshi muttered while covering his mouth and nose; with Ellie fleeing away from the smoke almost immediately after he had used it.

It was too late, he couldn't undo that one now.

But somewhere inside him, he wished this was the right moment. “I can’t stay that long.” His voice was faint and quiet, judging from the speed he ran away from them, he probably was far from them already.

“Darn...” The summoner said while flinging his right arm back and forth, attempting to divert the smoke. “He’s quick…”

"Of course he is..." The fairy said in between mild coughs. Ellie just sighed. “You failed to notice something, though.”

“What could that be?”

She stated it as if it was an obvious, telltale fact. “The tone of his voice, became slightly warmer at some point. He must care about the predicament they are in right now."

“What’s noticeable about that it could just be-”

“Used as an opening to repair their relationship.”

Takeshi stared at her wide-eyed. “Oh.” He said lamely. “I see. We could use that and help them out.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what the relevance of their relationship has to do with the fate of the gachaverse, but it appears we might have a way to solve things now. Both of them don't hate each other to an unfathomable extent."

Of course they didn't. But they  _needed_ to hate each other.

The girl tried to make sense of what she was trying to express. "It's just... really, really _broken_ right now. But that can be used to our advantage, and resolve problems quickly."

The summoner rubbed his chin, pondering her statement. "Oh...”

Ellie looked at him with a confident expression. "You know what this means, right?"

Takeshi then stood up, and nodded. "Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It looks like Ellie and Takeshi-the-dork have come up with a way to help our two hopeless souls...  
> I wonder, where does this take them?
> 
> (AN2: I will try to be more consistent with how I interpret their emotions or the like, it's really difficult to get my point across... btw, chap four might take a while, it's relatively long and kind of hard to write unlike the first three chapters so it might take a while to post.)


	4. Unspoken Truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I see… for training alone, you are formidable.”  
> “You too. I didn’t think shields could be used for offense just as potent as blades are. Your use of shields like blades might be even more effectual and coercive than famous swordsmen of this time.”  
> She smiled at him. “That sounded more like a hyperbole than a compliment, to be honest.”  
> “No, you’re just being too modest.” He replied, returning her smile. But his was inconspicuous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...BEHOOOLD, THE FLASHBACK CHAPTER HAS ARRIVED.  
>  (and no, NOOOO. I haven't abandoned this fic. :o)
> 
> It's mostly a fault on my part. My bad. I'm very, very sorry, but here it is. I wanted to finish it really badly, mind you. It's hard to keep everything connected, especially if the plot idea was spontaneous and that you can't undo everything just for the flow to go with THIS chapter. And as I've said, it's a flashback chap. Everything that happens here took place probably weeks before the first three chapters.  
> But anyways, HERE IT IS OMAYGAD I FINALLY DID IT MY HANDS THEY HURT HUEHUEHUEEE I'M SO SOOORY BUT IT'S STILL TRASHY

It was relatively cloudy that morning. While the sun’s rays could still be sighted from somewhere behind the clouds, the shadows of the cotton balls of the sky travel down the earth as it lethargically moved along with the time of the day. The arena was rather silent, having no battles or matches scheduled that day. Dusts of the battlefield being blown into the arena halls, and the trash left behind by watchers and civilians scattered along the rows and rows of quartz effectively used as seats for the spectators.

Looking at the mess left respectively by the arena’s usual onlookers, Claire didn’t feel like cleaning by herself again. She sighed, maybe she should implement some sort of garbage campaign sometime, but knowing the conditions of the world she used to live in, arenas are places of battle. For the beholders to be entertained and amused. Was a sanitary rule even advisable?

Then again, the crowd would be displeased if the trash were all over the place and if it weren’t well kept. It wouldn’t hurt if she did implement an extra regulation of sanitary matters. The watchers would understand by then anyways. Wearily, she began picking up the trash one by one. The trash usually left behind were pages of arena rule sets, some posters of the final battles, and tarpaulins left behind by some cheerers and fans. It would be a huge wave of relief for her as the manager and keeper of the arena if they thoroughly learned the importance of garbage managements…

Whatever.

What mattered now was cleaning this place up… again.

She was getting rather tired of this routine.

Don’t get her wrong, she _loved_ the arena she was in. Watching single, team, tag-team battles, she loved watching various fighting styles come into play. Well, it kept her from not doing anything while moderating the battleground. All the while battles were underway, she would observe the different tactics, fashion of their fighting, or even the manner they wield their bladed weapons. It kept her from being bored.

And later, the data she garnered in her personal volume where pages and pages of yellowish parchment filled with meticulous handwriting, would be put in use. She would formulate various stances, methods to defend, find a way around, or develop various strategies around the data she gathered. That is, when she’s alone in the arena though. She would usually do this during holidays, or when the arena was closed to the public. Or maybe sometime around after events in that place have ended. She didn’t feel comfortable being watched by other people when she practiced, so she just waited for a time where people wouldn’t come to the arena at all.

It felt so right for her, wielding a sword and a shield at hand.

But then, there was this abrupt feeling that dawned upon her. Days later, where she would have expected for that feeling to be gone, it never faded away from her.

She felt like she was always being observed from afar. It didn’t really frighten her, but it just felt mortifying that _someone_ was watching her execute her daily practice. While she would usually shove the idea away off her shoulders, the notion of being spectated in times where she thought she was alone kept her awake during nights when supposedly, she should be sleeping tight for the next day. Knowing that, it always bothered her to an extent where she would excuse herself whenever she talked with her acquaintances, like Tiff or Melody. They would give her worried looks but she would just say that it was nothing worth their concern.

She usually wouldn’t allow small hindrances like a possible spy, dominate some part of her life.

But here she was, thinking about that said spy in such profound and wary ways.

Claire wondered, was that person watching right now?

Putting the last pieces of trash in a rugged, bag made out of recycled pelt, she headed for a room and placed the bag of trash in there. Immediately returning to the center of the arena, she held up her sword in a stance she usually wouldn’t practice, the _Vom Dach_.

This stance was one of her weak points, unlike the other stances of wielding her sword, the _Ochs, Pflung_ and the _Alber._ She was strong in that three, they were quite easy to grasp with her level of skill. The Vom Dach was more of a high-placed kind of stance. It was flashy, unlike the other three. She would have to vertically hold the sword to the desired correct angle, well not perfect, but a rough angle of forty-five is quite okay, and she knew passing the foot was a useful move when wielding that stance.

When used right, it would be a threatening offense, and can also be used as a guard or defensive stance. It would easily go against the other three stances, more to the Ochs as well. This one was quite hard to get right, because one would have to wield a broadsword instead of the usual shortswords she was used to.

Even though she knew this stance was for offensive charges, despite knowing that her forte was defense, she needed to get in some practical offensive skill in her arsenal.

She began swinging, each swing would disappoint her. So she always mentally whacked herself each time she did, her instincts whispering to her to try harder. To fling more accurately, to move more swiftly. The adrenaline she always felt during any practice came in, exciting and igniting the flames from within her.

But as always, the suspicious feeling of being watched from afar had decided to bother her as of now.

Seriously, it wasn’t amusing being watched. She wouldn’t have minded it if it was an actual battle she was in right now, she wouldn’t mind the attention this ‘secret spectator’ was giving her, but her alone? Yeah, no. Pass.

Maybe she should try _that_.

In an attempt to reveal who this watcher was, she stopped swinging. Dropping the broadsword in her hands unto the sands of the arena’s field. She scanned the surroundings around her, closing her eyes, each sense heightened dramatically, excluding sight. She listened, she felt, carefully and thoroughly.

There was a long silence in that moment. Until...

She heard a sound.

From the halls. Somewhere.

She breathed deep, and spoke with her voice, whole and solemn. She opened her eyes and confidently stood. “I know you’re out there, I heard you.”

Seconds later, footsteps can be heard from her backside. The cadences became louder and louder, indicating that this said spectator was nearing her. She tardily moved her head, the levels of curiosity inside her going higher and higher. And as she fully turned to see who the watcher was, her expectation meter exploded to bits.

She never even considered this possible.

_...him, of all people?_

“...R-reed?” Claire stuttered. Her eyes widening in surprise, her teeth lightly shaking out of shock. “...it’s you?”

A thin smile formed on his lips. The redhead’s voice was low and docile. “You got me.”

“W-w-wait-” She panicked, one arm stretched out, her hand quivering. She tried not to stammer. Keyword? Tried. “Y-you were the one w-w-watching me?!”

That try wasn’t enough.

She continued. “T-this whole t-time?! It was you who was watching m-my practice sessions?!” And to her horror, he nodded, most likely signaling a ‘yes’. She even got more confused than she was that moment. Reed just looked at her calmly, his face almost devoid of any emotion. But his eyes contained something else, wonder, perhaps?

Suddenly, he opened his lips, about to say something. In that moment, Claire’s mind automatically generated a list of things to do. The list wasn’t that complicated because it consisted of the same thing. One, panic. Two, panic. Three, run away. Four, panic. Then five, wait for it… panic.

“You...” Reed said coolly. Aight, she was ready to run. Well, there was the fact that Reed and her were acquainted with each other in the first place. But still, NO ONE is supposed to see her doing that. That’s it, once he says the first word, she will run the heck out of there with all the dexterity she could muster and make sure that he wasn’t following her.

In three… two… one-

“You’re holding the blade wrong.”

What.

She blinked, and blinked a lot more. It was obvious that she was utterly confused by the unpredictability of this situation. And she was pretty sure that she got the context of his intentions wrong. Oh, what the heck. She decided to ask him. “...what?”

“I presume that you were using the Vom Dach stance, no?” He deadpanned while rubbing his chin.

Claire tried not to look stupidly baffled, but her face gave her away anyways. “Uh… yes, I was actually...”

The assassin just nodded and continued looking at her. She noticed this and shifted uncomfortably. _God_ , somebody _please_ get her out of here. Did he think that she looked bad doing the pose wrongly or that she was inferior because she had little knowledge regarding the Vom Dach or anything?

No, assumptions lead to the unspeakable.

Her mind can be quite irrational at some occasional occurrences, this was one of them, she guessed. Yet again, Reed’s irregularly sporadic personality can literally make anyone assume their hats off in the first place.

“Get your sword.”

She was bemused, again. “Excuse me?”

“Just...” He trailed off. The man appeared to be selecting his words cautiously. “...get your sword. I-I’ll help you.”

Awkward.

_Yep Claire, running was the right decision that you let pass._

Darn.

Claire had to admit, partly the reason why she attempted to run away from him was because if they talked to each other, the exchange would become unbearable. The next thing they knew, one would either abandon the conversation out of sheer awkwardness, or they didn’t know how to carry the conversation themselves. So at best, they haven’t really tried speaking to each other in offhanded nor friendly terms.

It's not that they were sort of uncomfortable around each other. They were acquaintances, but  _not_ friends. They just knew each other because they would occasionally bump into each other at some times when they were away from their duties. And the rumors regarding their achievements, or powers would usually become hearsay of the heroes that required their services every now and then.

Basically, they knew next to nothing about one another.

That is, until now.

But honestly, his statement right now got her really curious. So apparently, Reed knew of the four medieval guards and stances? Impressive.

“You know how to execute the Vom Dach?” The arena manger inquired, not knowing the sudden turn of her voice from ‘bemused’ to ‘casual’. Reed just smirked while picking up the broadsword the girl dropped moments ago. He retorted, but there was a hint of confidence in that reply. Whatever effort he made to hide that confidence, failed miserably. “Of course, as a wielder of blades, I need to know what my strengths are… and the same goes for you.”

“...I see.” She proceeded, feeling strangely at ease as she talked. “The shield is like a second sword for me after all...”

“...skills and talent can only be attained through sheer hard work and effort.”

“Of course they are.”

Reed jested quietly as a response. Then, he held up the broadsword that he picked up, doing a similar stance of what Claire was doing moments ago. The only difference was, the shoulders were slightly more higher, angled sideways. But still maintaining that horizontal, optimum forty-five degree angle. The way the sword was held was not by an elbow-down, elbow-up position that she was doing a while ago. But a simple wrap of fingers, the typical way to handle a sword. And as the man swung, he elevated his arms and flung it down at full force. The action caused a mild sound of a stroke, indicating that the strike was powerful, but not too gaudy.

“Mhm.” Claire nodded, the observation of his demonstration gradually mesmerizing her. “Intense. But honestly, that was...”

“Bad?”

“N-no.” She shook her head gently, it was the opposite. The man had quite the anthology of abilities, frankly. “It was a spectacular display of maneuvering a sword stroke. The control in your arms and body was well-coordinated.”

“Oh… I see.” He remarked softly, handing the blade over to her. “If you don’t mind, I want to see you try it too.”

“Wha-” She said, feeling suddenly mortified. But the boss guardian had cut her before she could complete whatever she was going to utter. “Your use of the sword may not be as well as the shield, yet... you’re still close. Just a bit more.”

“I...” The brunette murmured. Then she just let loose a sigh and momentarily looked at her sword. “I’ll try.”

Executing the same position Reed had displayed, she did the same he did. But there wasn’t that remarkable show of power that he enforced when he swung it down. Hers was a margin weaker, but the faint sound of that swing could still be heard if one listened briefly. Reed nodded. “Just continue doing that until you get it right. If that sound doesn’t seem to be heard, it means your arms require more strength for it to be swung effectively.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Mhm, it’s what I learned while I was training myself back in my old world.”

“I see… for training alone, you are formidable.”

“You too. I didn’t think shields could be used for offense just as potent as blades are. Your use of shields like blades might be even more effectual and coercive than famous swordsmen of this time.”

She smiled at him. “That sounded more like a hyperbole than a compliment, to be honest.”

“No, you’re just being too modest.” He replied, returning her smile. But his was inconspicuous.

“But, I would want to ask you, if you do not mind.” Claire said, raising one of her fingers. Candidly, she felt really, really sorry for herself asking this question. But she couldn’t help but become curious, it was still perplexing to her until she found the reason. “...why exactly were you… ‘watching’ me anyways?”

_Well, first of all, I was just curious. And then, the wonder of you pulled me in. The end._

Reed could’ve kicked himself for thinking that if it weren’t for the fact that maybe it was _slightly_ true.

“Well...” He mumbled to no one in particular, but Claire took it as his response. “I-I...”

“If you’re not comfortable talking about it, I don’t really mind...” Her stern, but uncommonly warmhearted voice hovered through the air between them.

The redhead could’ve took out a smoke bomb and escape, but he didn’t have any with him. Sadly.

‘The pooiinttt of nooo retuuurn...’

_Damn it Reed, fix yourself._

“I just happened to have dropped by that day, and now I always do...”

_No you weren’t. You were just curious, but then days later you got drawn. And now every time she practices, you would come and watch her. You thought of revealing yourself because she knew she was being watched, but you were too shy to-_

Get a hold of yourself.

He swore, this was the _last_ time he was going to let his thoughts make fun of him. Could it be that his entire body and even his mind was masochistic?!

The grandmaster stammered out of bewilderment. “Y-you what?”

She blinked. He blinked too.

He didn’t have any idea where this conversation was even running to.

“I don’t know...” He muttered.

She just scratched the back of her head awkwardly. “O-oh...”

“A-anyways.” She continued, and decided to turn away. She picked up her blade, and turned her head slightly to talk to him. “I-I’ll get going… I need to attend to some _other matters_...”

“ _Yeah, kudos to me for destroying the flow of the conversation.”_ She thought to herself.

“R-right.” Reed stuttered, as well, even surprising himself in the process. “I’ll get going too...”

An awkward silence hovered. Until Claire decided to pull back and slowly walk away. Reed was about to do the same but suddenly, she had called his name.

For the first time, too.

“Reed.”

He swore that he felt his body stiffen when she uttered his name. “Yes?” He attempted to sound composed, but really, he couldn’t.

“...s-see you and… goodbye, I guess...” She maundered, her innocently captivating gaze piercing across the distance formed between them.

This, was probably going to be the beginning of a pleasant fellowship.

“...same goes for you.”

* * *

  _Your existence was nothing but a fluke of fate, you aren’t supposed to even be here right now. You are just a fortunate being that fate forgot to erase before you were born. What is yours is not yours at all. Those flames you wield are not yours to be used, they are not through the efforts you garnered. Only because you had the hand of luck that day you defeated a demon who was actually more rightful to hold the fire, thus, giving you an undeserved power._

_Your skills are not fueled by passion, by talent or by anything else you thought it would._

_It is merely just revenge. Just the fear of being wronged. Just frustration._

_Just hate._

_Hate._

_You are a being of hate._

_Therefore, as a being of hate, you will be detested. You will be loathed. You will be wronged._

_You will be hated._

_Everything you believed in will thwart your presence in their bounds, you will never be accepted. Everyone who you thought accepted who you are, are just merely dolls of pity fueled by your tragic backstory of retaliation. They do not really accept you, but just nod in agreement because they think it will make you feel more human._

_Which more or less, you are not one at all._

_You are a being of hate._

_If they do not accept you, then do not accept them too. Despise them. Loath them. Wrong them._

_Hate them._

_If they hate you, then you must hate them as well. If even the destinies and fate refuse you, then refuse them as well._

_Because you, are a being of hate._

_A being of hate._

_You, are hate._

_Then, you are hated._

_Hate._

_Hate. Hate. Hate._

* * *

“ _Wake up.”_

Was it morning yet? Oh god, don’t tell her that she overslept and the line outside the arena was getting really long. Because that’s a lot of work to do...

“ _Please, wake up.”_

Wait, five more minutes. Or maybe ten. Make that a fifteen. Her body isn’t cooperating with her right now.

“Oi, wake up.”

“R-right I will!” She actively rose from the sheets of her small bed. Shaking her head and flinging her arms out of panic. Only for her to calm down seeing that it was just her redheaded companion adorned with a white polo and a chromatic khaki, which were usually his casual or sleepwear. She then gave him a mild deadpan. “Oh, it’s just you.”

Claire, who was wearing a plain white cotton shirt, and some knee length black shorts, looked at the window beside her to find that it was still nighttime, not what she expected. But seeing that her companion had woken her up at this time, it seemed like she was in something serious. “You frightened me. I thought it was morning already.”

“Sorry.”

She pushed away the strands of her rather unruly bedhair that was covering her face to the backside of her ears. “Why did you wake me up? And at midnight  _of all times_.”

“I… can’t sleep.” He said softly, scratching the filaments of messy hair at the back of his head, but unbeknownst to her he was secretly embarrassed of having to near her in the first place. But frankly, he felt snug around her. Usually, every time he finds himself in some awkward situation he can’t untie himself from, he would do it himself. But having warmed up to the brunette and the others after a month of offhanded exchanges and development, he would sometimes go to the arena manager for assistance.

And this time, it was no exception.

Not that he _liked_ going to her or anything, he just found it weird if he went to Tiff or Melody in her stead.

She just rolled her eyes, sooner accompanied by a halfhearted smile. “Why can’t you?”

“I don’t know.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“I don’t know.”

She just sighed. He was rather helpless in some situations, honestly. Her first impression of him was that he was relatively independent of himself. After their first ever brief exchange in the arena a month ago, they, along with her two friends as well, developed a decent friendship. She discovered some pretty interesting traits about the man. He was indeed what she had presumed him to be. He was independent, very independent, actually.

But among all the things she had uncovered, she was sure of one thing.

He was awkward as hell.

“What does that even- wait, how did you get in here in the first place?!”

“The door wasn’t locked.”

She blinked, kicking herself mentally for being so negligent. “Oh. Maybe I forgot to lock it, that’s careless on my part. But, moving that aside...”

She sat in a tight, cross-legged position on the bed. She gestured him to sit down on the mattress, to which he complied with no complaints. “Why did you come to me for something like that? I mean, knowing you, you would’ve took care of something such as a sleepless slumber with little effort. Like you used to in your old world...”

“No, it’s different...” Reed mumbled lowly. “It’s… more complicated, compared to the nightmares I had before...”

“I see… what do you need from me for something like that?”

“I don’t know...” He muttered. “I just felt the need to come to you because...”

“Because what?”

He put his chin upon his palm. “I don’t know, you were the first person that came to mind...”

“Oh.” _Wait, what?_

The girl failed to formulate a reply and it caused a peculiar peace to float in between them, causing the man to feel suddenly uncomfortable. Did he say something bad?

Wait, think, you idiot brain.

Oh.

Reed realized that what he said came out rather differently than he was expecting for it to be. His ears suddenly feeling like it was dipped in a pit of flames, and his mind shutting down his ability to talk consecutively, his cheeks warmed up to a light red as he tried to explain. “I-I-It’s not what you thought it was- I, just… uh-”

“N-no, I understand. There’s no need to explain...” The brunette said, the apparent shade of pink turning to red as she raised her arms in defense. She attempted to placate the flames of this awkward and maladroit situation to the minimum. “W-well, uhm, it can be like that you know! The closest person to you being the first thing that comes to mind, especially in situations like this or s-so!”

What she said didn’t pacify the heat, it multiplied.

“C-closest friend…?” Reed’s voice trailed off. The trail of words caused Claire to explode into a blushing mess, she couldn’t hide it even if she tried. Well, despite her non-indulgent and austere personality, her intense self-control, hiding her emotions was something she labeled as ‘next-to-impossible’ to do. She looked to her side, looking away from the manly figure opposite of her. "Well..."

“Is that so...” The redhead just grumbled to no one in particular.

Were they really that close?

Then again, she’s the only person he ever had a proper, insouciant, or even a personalized conversation with. They told each other their past experiences in the worlds they used to be in. She occasionally shares her lunch with him, since he had little to no meal at all. He teaches her other techniques he knew of, understanding her need to expand her offensive skill tray, becoming some sort of a makeshift mentor during their free times. She even shared her personal battle data journal with him.

Holy cow, they were already too cozy around each other before they even realized.

Was that why Tiff and Melody were giving her weird and funny looks every time she went with him?

Damn, so she was _that_ unaware.

“I- uhm…” Claire looked away a bit more, Reed did the same thing. The words previously caught in her throat decided to fly and escape, mustering up the courage to break the nervousness laying stagnant around them. “Y-yeah… I guess you are.”

“Can I...” The man looked at her, deciding to do the same, she looked at the man's eyes. Though the brave action slightly backfired onto her, with said action causing her to feel somewhat mortified of herself. “Can I ask you something?”

She tried smiling at him, but seconds later, the gesture seemed natural. Finally feeling comfortable. “Well, of course you can.”

He wasn't so sure how he was going to express himself in this sort of question, but it was the best he could think of.

“What do you... think of me?”

An awkward silence followed, with Claire’s eyes widening ever so slightly and Reed’s supposedly dull and expressionless features now prying and inquisitive. She opened her lips, letting out a word, but shut itself afterwards. “Well...”

All of a sudden, she snorted. “That’s a rather strange question.”

“It is?”

“Well, Reed, for starters,” She began, clearing her throat lightly. “you are just… you.”

He didn’t quite wrap his head around at what she said. “I am me?”

“Yes, you are. I am me as well, so is Melody, Tiff and anyone else. They are themselves.” The female stated with heart and confidence, raising her index finger as she spoke. “Technically speaking, whatever makes you up right now, that is what you are." As the sentence progressed, her words suddenly felt like a bitter aftertaste to her, something about the words she said felt so out of place.

She felt so... wrong when she had said them. Why?

But she decided to shrug them off anyway. "A dark chapter in your life, moments of despair, they also make up what you are.." There was a somewhat uneasy pause. "...but, well, they aren’t necessarily the forefront of your personality. You know.”

The same silence ensued, but this time, it was comfy, warm and light. Well, to Reed's perspective, that is.

“I-I see...” He said, fascinated with the words she had let loose. Letting his brain process her message at its own pace. He looked at the clock above her bed, knowing it was late already, he stood up from the bed and turned to her direction. In which, his abrupt actions have somewhat snapped her away from her captivated daze. "Um… Thanks. I-I’ll get going, I didn’t want to disturb you or anything...” The redhead said softly.

“It’s fine, I’m okay if it means helping you with whatever predicament you’re experiencing.”

What she said honestly felt so dry and outspoken. What-

“Thank you.” He said docilely, giving her a genuine smile, surprising her slightly. “Claire.”

She tried not to blush as he gently closed the door, leaving her alone in the midst of the night once again.

Tried.

That was actually the very first time she heard him call her by her name.

She collapsed onto the mattress, mixed emotions on her expression and her brain suddenly crowded by so many things she couldn’t describe.

Although, among all the crowd of confusion encircling her brain, one significant thought had surfaced.

She wished that he had stayed a bit longer.

* * *

It was the middle of night, he sighed. Why would the green-haired elf and her music-loving companion call him out on such a late time?

And in the arena _of all places_ they could think of.

Then again, if he had observed his own actions for the past week _after his late-night conversation with a certain someone_ , he might have become a bit too obvious in showing that he was in pain and somewhat disturbed by a few ‘subtleties’, or as he have worded his unnerving nightmares to that.

They were probably worried.

If they noticed it, then Claire had probably noticed as well. Her level of cognitive recognition _is_ probably a level higher than theirs was, so it was rather impossible to presume that she didn’t have any idea about what Reed was feeling, or experiencing to begin with.

But one thing was, she was indeed suspicious.

He watched the young elf sit on the row of white quartz, he did the same but distancing himself from the girl.

“Reed, you seem so out of place. Is there something wrong?” Tiff asked apprehensively, scanning the distressed, and bleary-eyed male a few meters beside her. She gave him a glass of water as a show of concern. “You’ve been behaving strangely the past few days.”

“It’s nothing.” He managed to spit out in between light breaths of fatigue, accepting the glass Tiff handed him over. “It’s just bad dreams. That’s all.”

“R-really?”

“...yes. You, along with Melody, have been quite the bother, constantly asking me the same question for the entire week.” He continued. “It’s just some nightmares, you both have nothing to think of, it’s for myself to worry about.”

“Yeah, ya sure ‘bout that?” Melody’s voice popped in, causing him to inwardly yelp from the entrance of a purple-haired girl sitting beside Tiff. “Don’t get me wrong, both of us aren’t intruding on you or anything. But the bags under your eyes, which aren’t even supposed to be there, prove that you’ve been under some amount of stress lately. Of course we’ll be worried.”

It was his business though, they had no territory in that whatsoever.

If he told them about the peculiar and trauma-inducing nightmares he was experiencing, they might prioritize him over their other duties, which might be more important than his was. He _had_ to push them away. “It’s really nothing-”

“It is not healthy to seal up the tension and release it when you are supposed to be resting.”

The three individuals crooked their heads to see who it was speaking, much to their surprise to find Claire sitting down a few feet away from Reed’s position.

“I know...” He grumbled knowingly, averting her stare upon him. He decided to press on. “But I’m fine, really.”

“You’re not.”

“I am.”

Tiff whispered something inaudible to the purple-haired girl beside her, but the duo meters away from them couldn’t quite make it out. It was something along the lines of ‘argument of a married couple’, but it was probably just their imagination.

The brunette heaved a sigh, putting a hand over to the side of her neck.

She wasn't blind.

He wasn’t as close to fine as he had claimed to be. Having black lines under his eyes, the slower and surprisingly weaker reaction during their drills and exercise, the decline of his appetite for meals and the lost of will to operate the boss cavern properly. Did he think that he was doing ‘fine’ even if his activity proved to be even lower than subpar?

“Tiff. Melody. I appreciate the effort of you two trying to talk to him...” The arena manger said solemnly, the two suddenly turned towards the brunette’s direction. “But I will kindly ask for you two to leave. I need to talk to him _alone_.”

“O-okay... We understand.” Melody said nervously, holding up Tiff’s hand and guiding her to the nearby staircase which led to the arena exit, but the girl had looked back to her two friends worriedly. Looking at them with eyes full of doubt, and anxiety. _“Good luck.”_ She whispered to herself, whilst Tiff did the same.

Claire watched as her two friends had finally left them alone, with Reed’s jaw placed upon his palm, his expression tired and rather sickened. He spoke up with his disinterested voice. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I had to, you would never talk that way.”

“Tsk, whatever.”

That reaction somewhat affected her more than she thought she was.

“You don’t have to show how you’re ‘cold-eyed’ to this conversation just to prove to us that you are alright... In which, you aren’t.”

“...you don’t understand what I have been dreaming of. It’s beyond what you can handle." He said, looking downward to avoid any possible way of making eye contact. "So just stop worrying about me.”

It was beyond what she can handle. And beyond what _he_ can handle as well.

“I won’t.” She said unrelentingly. But the severe and self-abnegating expression of her face just affirmed her resoluteness to support him, with her mouth narrowing into what could be made out as a wry smile. “As a friend, I won’t.”

Reed just stared at her with his mouth slightly agape, sighing as he gave up on his protective justification of his well-being. Her furrowed eyebrows accompanied by the vexed and caring aura her eyes emitted caused him to feel less constrained and more soothed.

“Fine.” He muttered reluctantly, but he knew he was secretly thankful that she was there, sort of. “I’m not okay.”

“Obviously.” Her lips pressed together forming a thin line, she lowered her head to his level and the emotion her eyes contorted into something along the lines of genuine concern. “But why?”

A few silent moments had passed since then. The intense silence in between heating up by the seconds that passed, but only when the man mentally decided to give up did the heat burst and the airless peace broke.

Reed took the deepest breath he probably had took in his life. 

“I… it’s… just, I don’t know.” He rotated his head away from her, looking at the floor purposely to avoid the heated stare she was giving him. “These visions I have been seeing in my sleep… they’re… out of control.”

She nodded slightly, seemingly disturbed by the statement. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve been dreaming about myself being slaughtered by the same demon I slayed back in my old world… but I was _in the demon’s place_ , watching my own self get attacked over and over… it’s not making any sense….”

The girl remained silent as he continued to mouth all the experiences he had, her brain subconsciously deciphering, taking in, and sensibly making out every detail with great and paramount importance.

And as the seconds pass on, his voice trembled ever so slightly.

“I would just dream... but moments later everything becomes dark and it turns into a nightmare...” Reed felt himself shaking. Talking about his struggles during slumber was not at all pleasant. The incidents he have dreamt about would play itself in his mind, but the button for stop was broken, and the images kept repeating in his brain in an eternal dance of hellish, nightmare-inducing rewinds. “The whispers, that dream, and everything else ugly kept invading at me, and they all came _together_... I don't know anymore...”

_And it was eating me away at my very soul._

This surely, was the first time he had experienced something like this. He had been through more tough times, but this was the only one that was physically  _and_ mentally overwhelming.

He didn’t know why, but for a month, he had been inwardly tortured by these incubuses of the brain. He didn’t know the reason why he suddenly began dreaming about something he should have buried – no – moved on from long ago. For some unknown reason, his thoughts have kept pointing at _something_ as the cause. He did not have any idea what that something was, but every time all the negative emotions would entangle every corner and fiber of his being, it was telling him something.

It would go to extreme lengths of showing him painful, and rather terrifying imagery that he had come across in the past. And in such occasions, he would sometimes unwillingly cry himself to sleep. He didn’t even know he was capable of producing such emotion to that sort of way before, yet looking at that, the problem he was experiencing was _that_ severe.

But whatever it was, and however painful and fearful those nightmares kept torturing him, it didn’t do a good job telling him _what_ it was that he had to blame.

His train of deep thinking was disrupted when Claire had spoke up. “...I didn’t know.”

Of course she didn’t. Because after all, the efforts of keeping this problem hidden was all for her not to find out.

Reed was confused to the very core.

_Things weren’t making any sense._

“But...” Her voice reverberated. Reed merely listened to her, but unknowingly, the brunette had neared him. He was sort of baffled when he sensed that her voice was louder than earlier, yet still he refused to look her way. “It’s okay to tell me everything. You can’t keep that locked away, you know.”

Should he tell him, he would be giving another person the same, miserable problem.

But, she was willing to shoulder it. Should he?

“...okay.” He said, the doubt evident in his voice. He yelped in surprise when he felt a tap on his shoulder, only to find her sitting next to him. The distance between them suddenly shortened. She let out a sigh of what seemed to be relief. “Come on then, tell me.”

The man shifted awkwardly, knowing that her form was merely centimeters away from him. “Well... I..."

"I'll wait until you're ready."

"Okay..." He breathed in thoughtfully, putting his trembling fingers together in an act to further compose himself. “I’ll tell.”

Her reply and demeanor was attentive. “Alright, go ahead.”

Hearing that had made him somewhat apt, inclined, if that was the right word, to tell everything. Usually one of the reasons why it was hard to sustain a one-on-one, serious conversation with Claire. Well, on the other hand, Claire’s tone of voice was rather demanding. Even if she intended for her voice to be soft, or caring, it would still come out rather strict and dominating. Despite that she didn’t intend for it to be that way.

“Honestly,” Reed spat out. “I don’t even know what’s wrong with me… it’s not like I _want_ to dream about them… not that you can control dreams in the first place… but, well, it just comes in and haunts me...”

She sat still, her ears and her mind doing most of the work listening. He continued. “How should I put it… It’s like a nightmare… that I _can’t_ control, nor wake up from for that matter… I want to wake up. To scream… to _die_. But the dream won’t… let me...”

She took a thoughtful breath for a moment, pursing her dry lips and absorbing his remarks with great significance. “Claire...” He murmured lowly, but it was loud enough for her to pick up clearly. She could sight the increasing movement of his body, breathing heavily out of stress. “How do I… stop this?”

“Well, I...” She didn’t know, actually.

Because, unexpectedly, she was experiencing the same problem.

Hers was rather different in the sense, but it was strikingly similar to how he had described his. Her insecurities, qualms and uncertainties about herself that she thought she had concluded for herself long since, came back. She didn’t know how, and why, but they _just did_. But it didn’t matter, as they intensified. And now, it would bother her every now and then. But the dreams came to the line of no turning back as it began somewhat affecting her, and in the negative way.

Days passed when she first started hearing the weird voices in her head, but she though of it as something trivial.

But then, it grew worse.

The whispers that she used to toss into the back of her mind grew louder. Grew more powerful. Grew more deadly. It was telling her to hurt, to slay… to murder. Every whisper would question her principles, her logic, her beliefs, and twist them towards the direction of the depraved and knave. She understood that Reed’s was probably more roughshod, but having your rationality twisted to the point where you would lose and turn away from your sanity can be rightfully equal to his.

Not that she had lost her sanity by now, but from time to time, her mind would grow to become irrational, incoherent, and downright maniacal. She wasn’t in control of her thoughts anymore, and every conversation with anyone else that was supposedly fun and light, would become something more evilly profound as the murmurs became more moving… not in the positive way, apparently.

But luckily for her, she wasn’t the only one who was going through harsh times.

Well, at least.

“Claire…?” The distance between their faces lessened dramatically. He shot his hand up and down, pulling her out of her troubled daze as she blinked. “You look… pale.”

“O-oh… my bad.” She shook her head vigorously, slapping her cheeks meekly. It seemed that she was not taking note of the awfully short distance between them. “S-sorry, i-it’s nothing… I was just thinking of... _something_.”

“Okay...” He muttered, the sounds of alarms ringing at the back of his head. There was something bad going to happen, his brain told him. Although that message wasn’t taken seriously as he continued to ask her. “...what do you think I should do about this?”

She felt oddly dizzy as he looked at him, thinking that It was probably the pressure of the conversation that was causing her to feel weirdly light-headed. Claire suddenly felt a short but sharp pain shoot through her head, yet she answered him like normally. “Well I...”

What.

First she felt dizzy, now a sudden migraine?

She didn’t show any sign of sickness for the past few days, there wasn’t anything abnormal with her body activity. The days before felt fairly normal, well, excluding the strange and unending whispers that invaded her head. So seeing her fair and actually more than average health, why was she feeling so ill all of a sudden?

The arena manager was about to stand until the headly pain abruptly stopped. She wasn’t feeling dizzy either.

What was going on?

All of a sudden, her vision darkened. The air around her feeling somewhat icy and cold.

She was indeed still conscious, but she suddenly couldn’t see nor hear anything. Her body shivered lightly, but it wasn’t noticeable. Was she going to pass out? Or was she really that overpowered by the distress of this exchange that she-

“ _Tell him that he can’t do anything about it. Everything’s hopeless.”_

It was that voice.

“ _Tell him that he’ll suffer. He’s powerless. All the efforts he ever released, ever done, and will do, are futile.”_

The whispering voice was frigid, somewhat cacophonous, and appaling. And she was all too familiar with this whisper. Any other person would be absolutely terrified, feel sickened in hearing that voice. But now, to her, it felt normal and she somehow grew accustomed to that said voice.

“ _He’s hopeless, push him aside. To you, he is nothing but a pain, an annoyance and a bother to you.”_

Claire just chuckled mentally at the voice. _No way in hell_ was she going to do that. To her, Reed was the exact opposite.

“ _Oh, mocking me now mere mortal? Ignoring was already an insult, but you dare laugh? We’ll see who’s laughing, hypocrite.”_

She just smirked to herself, out of the fact that the voice had its own sense of pride. Bewildering, but funny that she’d reduced it to such a state. Looking at how pathetic the efforts of the whispering voice had become, she felt somewhat triumphant.

“ _You don’t know anything, mortal. You will see sooner or later to what you have become.”_

Her smile grew wider, she was winning. The expression of her face went unnoticed as she hung her head low, the strands of her brown hair blocking any possible view from Reed’s vision. “...Claire?” Reed asked quietly, while troubled by the fact that his companion had suddenly become silent and unmoving.

“ _Look at what you’ve become, too.”_ She replied mentally, smiling confidently as she spoke.

“ _Your lack of awareness amuses me. I am unchanging, but you, no. You are affected, you lost, mortal. I’m the one that’s winning, not you.”_

She relished in the fact that this voice was replying so helplessly. She _enjoyed_ seeing this thing lose. She couldn’t wait for it to admit its defeat. The smile on her face was no longer filled with pride and confidence. Instead, the smile slowly grew more atrocious, _sadistic_. _“Hah… so now you’re humoring me by showering your defeat over me? Helpless you are.”_ She retorted arrogantly.

The voice suddenly laughed. And just laughed. The vile sound of its hilarity echoing in her brain, but not affecting her in any way.

“ _You’re helpless. Look at you.”_

_Look at you._

_You._

_Look at me._

_What was there to look?_

The sadistic, deviant grin? The helpless, and uncharacteristic hauteur and pride she suddenly possessed? The unwillingness and denial to accept defeat and lost? Or the desire to see, to hear, to know beings are in pain In her presence? What was there to look?

Wait.

Oh.

“ _I guess I’ll be having the last laugh now. You_ are  _hopeless_.”

She hissed loudly in dejection, surprising the redhead who was observing her somewhat shady and unpredictable behavior. He patted her shoulder lightly out of concern, to which she reacted by pushing his hand away. Feeling somewhat hurt by her rejection of his contact, he remarked worriedly. The air from his voice feeling somewhat freezing to her skin. “Claire…? Is something the matter?”

She couldn’t hear the man, much to their dismay. She was too preoccupied with the distracting, deafening and ominous whispers flooding her head to pay any attention outside her mental dilemma.

“ _Crush him.”_

No.

“ _Break him.”_

Never.

“ _Destroy him.”_

Not for as long as she lived.

“ _There’s no use defying a fate that is right in front of you. Your seeds will bear no fruit, young lady.”_

Claire covered her ears with her hands. Biting her lips from the fear that her body succumbed to. Her knees quavered, her teeth chattered, and her body felt like it was encased in ice. She was frightened.

Frightened... Fear.

Fear? It’s been a while since she last felt this kind of sensation. And that while, was a long while. The only time she was ever overwhelmed by fear was during the fight she had in that gladiator arena when she was young, back in her world. The very beast she was pitted against, _and_ defeated which later became the reason to entitle her as ‘Grandmaster’. And honestly, this was the only time she’s ever experienced a fear so overpowering.

“ _You are left with one decision. Do you surrender or not?”_

“I...” She murmured. She wasn’t going to. But her body disobeyed that thought, it felt like giving in to the weariness and burst. While her thoughts would say a vicious, determination-filled ‘NEVER!’, her body was submissing itself to the force as it shrieked into a ‘I GIVE UP!’. Something that she never said in her entire life, both through words and through anything else. Giving up wasn’t even a last resort in her thesaurus for life. She whispered a weak ‘never’, which sounded so irresolute and unsure even to herself.

Yet, here she was.

Giving in. Succumbing. Yielding to the force acting upon her.

She was giving up. She was surrendering. She can never win.

“ _Give in.”_

No, she can still go on.

“ _You can’t do anything.”_

She can still do something.

“ _You lost, mortal.”_

No, there was still hope.

“ _You are hopeless.”_

No…

Was she?

She was.

This was indeed, the point of no return. The words which she endlessly, incessantly loathed for all her life. What she hated for the years she opened her eyes to the world. To which the words were like poison, threatening to break and destroy her upon touch. Her voice grew hoarse and loud as she screeched out of misery.

_“Stop!”_

Reed was taken aback. He slid a few meters away involuntarily, but immediately came back to her as he held one of her arms. “What’s wrong-”

“Shut up!” She grunted away from his firm hold with a force, pushing him away briskly. She screamed whilst clutching onto her ears, her body visibly quivering and streams of tears began flowing down from her eyes. “Leave me alone!”

“ _Oh look, she doesn’t want you near her. What a nuisance you have become_. _And you rightfully call yourself an Avenger? Stupid._ ” His head remarked maliciously. He assured himself by pushing away that remark and still neared the woman. His companion. His friend. “What happened? Oi!”

_Isn’t it obvious? You were pressing her too much without knowing what she thought. Tsk, helpless you are._

_No, there’s something wrong with her, I have to help-_

_Don’t believe in whatever belief you believe in, she **hates** you._

The brunette lay on the row of quartz, her arms tied around her knees and legs. Her body appeared to be stressed, she seemed cold and the tears kept flowing onto her unreadable features. “I give up… I can’t do this… Hah… I’m hopeless...” She muttered to no one in particular.

“Oi! Claire!” He stated worriedly, grabbing her by the shoulders, and positioning her into a sitting position. But she showed no signs of being affected as she continued muttering incoherent, messy gibberish about herself. “What’s wrong?!”

“Hah… No one knows how I feel… It’s difficult...” She mumbled, her face low. But the somewhat leering and dangerous smile surfaced among the mixed emotions on her expression, he felt more perplexed seeing this. There was something about her that suddenly felt off.

His lips formed a thin line as he held her shoulders tighter, lowering his face onto her level as he spoke. “Just tell me, it’s alright...” He muttered, obviously embarassed but concern rose more. “Claire… I told you mine, now tell me yours...”

“Reed... that’s you… right?” A quiet, fragile voice, which appeared to belong to her, reverberated in the air between them.

“Yes, it’s me… you can tell me, you know...”

“I c-can’t...” She managed to reply, though her voice was weak compared to what she was moments ago. Yet the peculiar smile on her face for some reason, widened The alarms in his head to which he shoved away, now began ringing louder than ever.“I just can’t...”

“Why?”

“Because… I don’t know...” She laughed. But the laugh felt so hollow and somewhat sinister.

“Claire… Come on, just tell me-”

Her laugh suddenly just died, which caused Reed’s statement to fall midway. “You’re so _hopeless_ _.”_

His ears and his brain weren’t ready for that.

He let go of the toughened grasp on her shoulders, eyes widening at the girl in front of him. Her malicious smirk evolved into a cold, toothy grin as she began speaking under her breath. “You can’t even figure out what problems me… not just _hopeless…_ you’re also _helpless.”_

Reed refused to believe that what he heard really came from her lips. “Claire, what are you-”

“What a lost cause.”

He suddenly felt trigerred hearing those words. “Oi, what the hell is going on?”

“You ask me that? Well obviously,” She commented as-a-matter-of-factly, the menacing grin ever-constant on her expression. “I’m being told off by some _hopeless, helpless_ and _lost_ guy who couldn’t even untie himself from his own problems.”

The worry in his mind was soon replaced by ire. “What do you know?” He retorted almost immediately, his caring voice turning into something more dire. “ _Look at you_ , you’re the one who’s _hopeless, helpless_ and _lost!”_

The somewhat familiar words pressed a switch inside her.

“Look at me?! What’s there to look? Is it as stupid and as unfortunate as the soul standing right in front of me?” She stood, her grin fading. Eventually, the atmosphere around them becoming unpleasantly indignant and heated. He stood too, even pushing her away as he did. He stated angrily. “Tsk, I was stupid enough to trust someone as _hopeless, helpless_ and _lost_ as you are...”

She rubbed the spot where he pushed her, she appeared to be in some sort of pain, but still replied anyway. “You.. You- Damn it, just… just _leave_! I don’t need to see your helpless face around my arena!”

 “Oh, I _will_ do that! I no longer have any need seeing you anyway!”

“Get out!”

“I will!” He screamed back, angrily walking away without speaking. The instincts in his head told him to look back, to walk back, to turn everything back. But the man denied each and every intention as he headed for the arena exit. Claire breathed heavily, in and out. Her expression violated and frustrated, but a feeling of remorse began setting in her as she stood alone in the rows of white. Clasping her hair in despair, she grimaced to herself. Tiredly plumping her body on the seats as the voice whispered to her one last time for that night.

_Look at what you’ve done._

“What have I done...”

* * *

"Damn it all!"

What did he do? Why did he do that? How did he even do it?

Reed shouted out another 'damn it!' as he kicked the tree right in front of him. The trunk had visible cracks from the barrage of kicks he had been continuously giving it for the entire morning. His feet hurt, his body still yearned for more sleep, but he didn't care. He felt like kicking the tree while shouting was his top priority more than anything else.

Damn it.

He let those and nightmares and that voice get the best of him. He failed to judge rationally. He failed to conceptualize things more logically. He was blinded by  _hate_ and  _rage_. He couldn't even say sorry even when he was alone.

Tsk, Reed, you idiot.

He failed to do what he could.

He lacked the understanding.

She was right. He was a  _hopeless, helpless_ and  _lost_ soul who unfortunately couldn't tie himself away from his own problems.

He sat on the now broken, and collapsed tree. Gazing at the cloudless sky and the beauty of the sun's rays tainting the heavens with its brilliant radiance and glory. The roosters sounded their morning calls and the early morning breeze tickled his exposed skin. But more or less, he couldn't appreciate the wonderfulness of everything about the morning as his mind was awake but elsewhere.

This was the worst time a morning could be beautiful.

This was the worst time, that he should be thinking about her.

He was the worst.

The worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... that was awfully long, this chap stands at more than 8000+ words, which are like the first three chapters combined... (I'm sorry, I didn't want to cut it, I had to strictly keep things in between order, so I had no choice but to release everything all at once...)
> 
> Gahd I didn't want to write my sahd kids' relationship get destroyed like that, but it's pretty much an integral part of this story's plot... so I have to sadly torture myself as the writer :u
> 
> Anyways, next chapter is the chappy where Dorkeshi and Ellie-sama will visit Neon World. And maybe I'll get to fueling the BladeFlare and the TurtleBlaire ship by then. Or maybe not, probably clearing up more things for the story to be less blurry, more understandable. But yeah, sorry for not uploading this any sooner. :0


	5. Author's note

Hi guys. It's me. It's unfortunate but this fic will temporarily cease all productions of its chapters for the time being. I'm thinking of rewriting everything from scratch. The plot idea was too spontaneous, and thus, it's unstable and doesn't have that much support. But I will leave it up in case anyone is interested in reading still. I know, such a late message for something that has stopped since the beginning of April, but yeah. No worries though, once I've finished doing the rewritten version of this story, I will post it. But for now, I'm sorry, writer's block is legitimately one of the only forces on the Earth that can stop me from writing this.

 


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